yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
