Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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