So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
