gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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