Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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