used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
