God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
