Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize