I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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