Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
