It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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