Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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