I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
