This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
