Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
