so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
