Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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