his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
