I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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