i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
