girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
