I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
