two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
