I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
