A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
