What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
