Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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