Nicole vs. Life
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
