Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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