I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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