i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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