just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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