Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
