S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
