Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
