did you get engaged???
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What drink are we having for lunch?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
