Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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