I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
