So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
