Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
