and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
