She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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