i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
