i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
