he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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