I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
