Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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