I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
