I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
