it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
