So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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