maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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